Why I am no longer concerned about false doctrine being taught in Church every week.

Why I am no longer concerned about false doctrine being taught in Church every week.

Since my mission I have found that there are some common misunderstandings that still hold strong among those that are not of our faith. What I am more concerned about are the misunderstandings of those that are in my faith. Yep, believe it or not all “Mormons” understand correct doctrines and principles and some don’t even understand that doctrines and principles are not the same thing. I know this because I was once one of them. You see we are not perfect like the Savior was, we make mistakes and everyone is on a different level of understanding. Sometimes we get so caught up in the way we live and mistakenly think this is the doctrine and principle of our Church when it is actually, “Mormon Culture.” For example the name of our Church is doctrinally based. Our name came through revelation to a prophet and you can find in the scriptures that Christ said his Church would bear his name. We are not suppose to call ourselves Mormons but the nickname has been so widely accepted and we are accustomed to being called “Mormons” that we readily accept the mistake. We have had numerous conference talks to try and get us out of that mode. From now on you will hear the right name and right abbreviation of our name from me. Our Church is called, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” Our abbreviated name, “Latter-day Saints” and “LDS”, you have to understand that our nickname assumes that you know that we follow Christ.

With all that said, the Church readily recognizes that some don’t know of the misunderstanding and have a site called Mormon.org because people actually search for us by our nickname. Of course people can readily see when going to the site our official name, which is a great example to all of us to follow. I have met a few people who don’t believe we are Christian and quite frankly with some of our poor examples I can’t blame them for the misunderstanding. I have also met with some that get quite “huffy and puffy” saying we don’t believe in the same Jesus Christ you do. To them my answer is simple… there is only one Jesus Christ and we believe in him, but there are some doctrinal understandings we have about Jesus Christ that may differ from the rest of Christianity.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints We believe in Christ and seek to know Him better.

The doctrine of the Savior Jesus Christ is the first truth I would like to address. I believe it is one of the most misunderstood doctrines in our own faith. I know this because I use to be one of those who had this misunderstanding. I believe that because I have had that misunderstanding it makes it easier to have compassion for that same misunderstanding. I am so grateful for those who helped me begin to gain a greater understanding of my faith. They were good at asking questions and making statements that took time for me to investigate. I began to see how starved I was for doctrinal instruction on my mission. I couldn’t get enough of the scriptures. I wanted to learn everything. I so thirsty for the truth and I continued after my mission to pursue greater spiritual understanding as it connected to scriptures. My work at the MTC fueled my desire and I found myself wanting to study more. This led to a career where I was able to study the gospel full time and still I wasn’t satisfied. I obtained a Master’s in Religious Education and there is where I began to really understand the deeper question of my soul. For years I have made a great effort in studying causes for why this may be the case which I am not going to address. Instead, I will just say a common misunderstanding and what the truth of it really is. I do not attempt to address every misunderstanding but while this post is not exhaustive list of misunderstanding held by the Latter-day Saints it is real.

Often, members of our Church believe that Christ is their lawgiver, their judge, and their exemplar. What they misunderstand is the relationship of all of Christ’s roles, namely that He is our Savior and Redeemer. I was often amazed by the testimonies of those in other faiths concerning Christ and His saving and redeeming role. I felt their faith and I experienced the conversion for myself. I needed more time with the scriptures and a greater willingness to go to God with everything that bothered me trusting in His infinite care. That time helped me to change and see that I was not viewing the majesty of Christ and who he really is and what power He can extend to me. I recognized that an imbalanced understanding of Christ’s attributes and roles can lead to imagining up for ourselves a pretty awful God to fear and tremble at. I recognized there is timing to His roles and how those roles relate to each other. I was one that greatly feared making mistakes. I wanted to do everything right and found no matter how I tried I just couldn’t do it.

Trying to live up to the expectations of my leaders and what I thought was right literally took me to a point of exhaustion. I wondered what the point to life was anymore. I was so empty on the inside an equally unhappy. At that desperate moment I prayed one of the most distressed prayers I have ever prayed to seek a way to feel the spirit and be happy again. I prayed to the Lord and explained I would rather die than continue to live the way I felt and I asked for deliverance and the power to do whatever I needed to do to change. Immediately after the prayer I was prompted to get a priesthood blessing. I went to our ward mission leader who had been a member for 5 years. He gave me one of the most powerful and directive blessings I had ever had. I was told that my suffering I had experienced ensured that I would have the spirit for the rest of life and that I was to fill myself with His spirit. I learned later that it was not just a spiritual crisis I was experiencing. In addition to my spiritual well-being my health was a great reason for the depth of darkness and exploratory surgery discovered that I had not just suffered from a chronic illness but I had also had acute appendicitis which had fussed my appendix with scar tissue to my intestinal track. I literally worked myself almost to death on my mission, but I am not sad that I did. Even though I know many more truths about caring for my health while doing the work of the Lord at the time I had done the best. I had followed the counsel of my leaders and more importantly I came to know God in such a way that I never wanted to leave Him.

I am so glad that I let go of the fact that God and Christ were judging me for every action. I found comfort in the scripture that taught me that Christ had not come to judge the world but to redeem it. You see the proper understanding of Christ includes that He will be our judge, but that is not his purpose with us yet. The timing of the judgment of Christ is in a future day, actually judgment day.  Christ’s judgment will take place in final judgment where we are judged according to our works and receive the reward for such.  We look forward and prepare for that judgment, but if we get too focused on the judgment in this stage of working we can become paralyzed with fear.  We fear making mistakes and getting “Judged” for them and do not recognize that we are expected to make mistakes and learn from them at this time in our life. Do you remember when you were learning how to drive? I Do! I remember my driver’s education teacher constantly reminding me to look at the horizon and not the front of the car. By having my eyes fixed in the wrong place I was surely going to cause an accident. Seeing this error, my teacher kindly provided for me the proper vision. We need to see Christ more clearly because doing so makes life significantly happier.  When we let go of unnecessary guilt because we feel that God is judging us we can better use our energy to just want to do better and seek his help in doing so.

In connection with the thinking that God is our Judge now is the misunderstanding that immediate and permanent judgment happens the moment we die. While it is always important to prepare to meet God, always we need not be overly concerned that we are not perfect when we die. Joseph Smith taught that it would be a long time after we had crossed thru the veil that we will have learned everything necessary for exaltation. If we just step back and look logically at his statement we can see of its’ truthfulness. Why else would we do work for those who have already died if there was no chance to change in the next life. Also I don’t know anyone that knows how to create a world when they die. That will take some careful study.

Who is Jesus Christ to those of the Latter-day Saint Faith?

So who is He? The Bible Dictionary gives a wonderful definition which I feel with my whole heart is true, “The anointed (Greek) or Messiah (Hebrew). Jesus, who is called Christ, is the firstborn of the Father in the spirit and the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh. He is Jehovah and was foreordained to His great calling in the Grand Councils before the world was. He was born of Mary at Bethlehem, lived a sinless life, and wrought out a perfect atonement for all mankind by the shedding of His blood and His death on the cross. He rose from the grave and brought to pass the bodily resurrection of every living thing and the salvation and exaltation of the faithful.

He is the greatest being to be born on this earth—the perfect example—and all religious things should be done in His name. He is Lord of lords, King of kings, the creator, the Savior, the God of the whole earth, the Captain of our salvation, the Bright and Morning Star. He is in all things, above all things, through all things, and round about all things; He is Alpha and Omega, the first and the last; His name is above every name and is the only name under heaven by which we can be saved.

He will come again in power and glory to dwell on the earth and will stand as Judge of all mankind at the last day.”

Another document that I love which describes the Savior is The Living Christ. Which reads,

“he is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal like in the world to come.

…He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bow and every tongue shall speak in worship before him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.”

In addition to all of this, which I know for myself to be true by the power of the Holy Ghost, I also know that Christ has perfect hope, charity, and love, virtue, knowledge, patience, humility, diligence, obedience. He is everything that goodness comes from. He has no darkness and confusion. He is bright as the lights of the heaven and creator of them. I am in awe of his excellence and majesty. And humbly acknowledge in complete humility that he was sent by God to save us, and He accomplished all the Father required of Him perfectly. I have felt his sacred power lift me to greater understanding and hope. Through his grace I have accomplished goals beyond my skill level and I know he is real!

One of those times that I came to understand Christ power to lift me in my circumstances happened when I was seeking answers from God to get relief from a very painful chronic illness. I had conquered my fear of doctors and went to many to seek relief. I also sought relief through healthy diet, exercise and that led me to understanding more about nutrition and it’s affects on the body and how herbs and naturopathic medicine could be useful as well. Still the naturopathic course I had chosen wasn’t strong enough to stop this rapidly growing disease. I remember waking up after a surgery, which was meant to reduce my pain, and thinking, “There has got to be a better way.” I heard a voice come to my heart in a quiet still whisper, “There is”. I sought for 2 more years before finding an alternative medical therapy, Chinese medicine and acupuncture greatly relieved the disease and put it into remission. I say this not to draw attention to the experience of illness in my life but the quiet, gentle and sometime long process that it is to learn something through the spirit. I wasn’t the same person because my experience made me more tender and compassionate to those who suffer. It also taught me of the beauty of agency and how the Lord gently put me in the right direction and expected me to act for myself and use all my energy to find a solution. All the while I felt of his love his patience and felt confirming witnesses to decisions I was making to improve my health as I read my scriptures, prayed and obtained priesthood blessing for the healing of the sick. I was also changing. I found diligence virtue and knowledge was growing in me. I wasn’t as afraid of challenges and I started to see the miracles that happened in my behalf could not have come any other way.

Don’t fear imperfections of mankind but seek to learn for yourselves the truth from God.

Your fear in proper gospel instruction may have increased with this article which is not my intent. You may feel like there should be clear teaching on the matter and that people should not be so messed up about their own faith. I agree the teaching of the gospel should be clear! What becomes the most important factor for change is members must be willing to pay the price. Paying the price is a common phrase we Religious Educators used to describe the effort and direction we must go in order to gain gospel scholarship. It means quite simply that we need to see that the scriptures and words of living prophets have the correct answers. Paying the price takes constant effort and study to understand, but the way we go about these things are simple. Every day we should be searching the scriptures individually and as a family. We need to have regular family home evenings and attend Church. It is amazing how much information you can gain if this simple but regular study is practiced. There is no replacement for time and constant effort.

One thing that I noticed that came from daily study of the scriptures was the ability to see the principles and doctrines and how they related to a normal day. On days that I was so exhausted from my chronic illness but still had to drag myself out of bed and make a living I had my prayers were answered. I always had enough energy to do what he needed me to do. I knew that energy was a blessing from the enabling power of the atonement. I then could see more perfectly the way that people were helped in similar ways in the scriptures. Sometimes it was the scriptures that opened my mind to the possibilities of life and that I could call down the powers of heaven in behalf of others just as Alma, Abinadi, and Nephi had done. It started to get fun when I learned to pray by the promptings of the spirit because it gave me a clue of what would be happening that day. I sometimes would feel prompted to pray for wisdom in working with my students and I would have sweet experience with parents which would confirm to me the things I had done that helped, and also some things I could do to better help their children. I saw the connections to the scriptures to my regular life. I saw different ways to draw my student’s attention from the world to listen to the things of the Lord everywhere and with everyone that I associated with. The study of the gospel was giving me corrective lenses in which I could see the hand of God working in the behalf of others and myself.

The scriptures were now becoming part of my very being and identity which made Church service more meaningful. I sought for ways to serve in the Church instead of seeking for spiritual experience, and oddly enough by serving others I found great spiritual experiences. I was often impressed by my humble brothers and sisters and how they dealt with the passing of loved ones and their faithful obedience to the gospel after a conversion to the gospel in their later years. With all the good experiences I had my share of frustrations. I remember one teacher was trying to teach that God had all power, all wisdom, and basically was perfect to which the classroom erupted with comments that God was a student that had just been around a long time and that he was still progressing. I tried to back up the teacher, but it felt like we were the only ones in the room that believed the truth. The teacher was an excellent student of the gospel and I could feel the spirit of his words, but the class was blocked by their own ignorance and not even those who were in charge of correcting the doctrine were saying anything. I remember finding some good sources to their answer, one being a talk by Bruce R. McConkie that was entitled The Seven Deadly Heresies. He sure did let the audience know that believing God had not gained all knowledge was incorrect. He told them if they believed that well they had the intelligence of a nat. I really liked the bluntness he used. It sure did relieve my irritation, and left no room for argument to the contrary. I took a copy of that talk to my father, who at that time was serving as a Bishop in the ward where the incident occurred. He used the quote in meetings to correct the situation that had arisen among the ward members before his call as Bishop. I was grateful for the truth to be out and for the good people in that area to be reclaimed, but I was frustrated with how long it took to correct.

Now I am not so frustrated even though my husband and I come home from Church every week with stories from our classes that show there is misunderstanding of simple doctrines taught every week. I know what to do when that happens now. I am grateful that this is no big deal in our home. We just get the scriptures and have the discussions that correct all of the doctrine that was misunderstood. It makes for a great gospel discussion in the home and we leave stronger and better each time. I can completely understand why the Church does not hold the primary responsibility for teaching the gospel. It is just simply impossible to get perfection from an imperfect group. But it is possible to get perfection from looking to Christ in all things. We can pray about anything that may have confused us, search the scriptures and words of living prophets for help and come back from the experience stronger every time.

 I am not worried about wrong doctrine being taught at Church because I recognize it as just a reality of the doctrine of the Fall. The fallen condition in which we live just means we are in constant error and only God can raise our sights and understanding to His truth. If we follow the counsel of our leaders to search and find answers for us then everything will work for our good. I think it is also important to understand what people misunderstand so we can be an instrument in bringing clarity. I don’t mean we can set up a rogue effort to correct every misunderstanding that come up, for there is an organized system to go about doing this. For those of you who do not understand this let me tell you I have learned through leadership position and becoming more familiar with the Church Handbook of Instructions is for the responsibility of teaching correct doctrine in the Ward. The responsibility is placed upon the leaders of each organization and the Bishop. If there is a problem talk to the leader of the organization and talk to the Bishop. They will be able to gently correct the issue if needed. Pray for your instructors and those who have heard the wrong doctrine. Your responsibility is complete when you get a confirmation from the Holy Ghost that the Lord is pleased with your efforts and you don’t need to worry about it.

An object lesson that I found quite effective and entertaining to help illustrate where we go to find our gospel answers and any answer, really is this: I would have a young man in my class collect water from the boys restroom, strait from the toilet. I would get another clear glass and fill it at the drinking fountain. Because many times the water looked the same, it was difficult for the class to tell the difference between the two. If you told them that they were free to drink the water, they were not so thrilled with the thought that they could be drinking out of the toilet. No normal person would really want to drink toilet water, but if we now draw the connections between this and gospel teaching we will begin to see that we are drinking toilet water every day we listen to someone and assume that they are telling us the truth. Or that just because the position that they hold, with the prophet of the Church being the only exception for this, means that everything they say is in line with correct doctrines and principles of the Church. If we seek the source of knowledge, which is God, then we will be drinking from the pure sources. Prayer, Fasting, Scriptures, and General Conferences of the Church are great examples of what we can do to go to the pure source of information. Ultimately the pure answer will be a confirmation of the Spirit of the Lord, or the Holy Ghost will teach us the truth of all things.

5 Things that will make you a much better Gospel Doctrine/Sunday Gospel Teacher

I have been a teacher of the gospel for more than twenty years, both in a lay ministry capacity and also professionally. I have taken classed from the brightest minds in the Church. Yet nothing has been a more powerful teacher to me of how to instruct than those who taught by example the proper way to be in tune to the gospel and to teach the way the Savior taught. I remember a young man I served with in a college ward (comprising of students and leaders chosen from the surrounding community) before I served a mission. We were both teaching the missionary preparation course. While I had not served a mission I was the only young woman in the ward that had received my own endowment in the temple. Since that is a step that all missionaries needed to take in their preparation to serve a mission they figure I was the closest thing they had. I may have been through the temple but I didn’t know much when it came to anything else.

Luckily I was not on my own. My partner teacher was a wise returned missionary who taught with love and the spirit. In attempting to correct a problem that had happened in the ward through teaching correct principles I decided I would put in my two cents as well. I definitely thought that what I had to say would solve the problem a lot faster. I don’t remember what I said but I did remember being condemning in my tone. He thanked me for my comment, but said I prefer to follow the spirit. It was one of the first times where I had recognized that my thoughts were not in alignment with the spirit of the Lord. I was teaching the truth without love or understanding and I was that tinkling symbol the scriptures talked about. My teaching didn’t lead to edification, it led to hurt and guilt.

I wondered why I could have even justified that I was speaking by the spirit at all. In quiet reflection I realized that in looking back at my education in the spirit at that time I saw examples of both good and bad teaching, but I accepted it all as good. Some people had said they were “going by the spirit,” when in actuality they were just, “shooting from the hip.” They hadn’t even bothered to study the lesson at all. I did also have great teachers that took great pains to help us feel the spirit and they followed it in class. One teacher was Shirley Squires. I felt the warmth of her faith. I could tell she cared about us and she really wanted us to understand. One time I remember her asking me what the answer was to a question she had posed to the class, but there was only silence after and no one dared to raise their hands. I knew the answer. What I couldn’t understand why she knew that I did. This both scared me and left me confused.

I know now that I didn’t have within myself a spiritual compass to guide me. I am forever grateful for her wonderful instruction. It taught me a valuable lesson that when a person is led by the spirit there will be a power carried to the hearts of those who are seeking to understand. I also learned that the spirit would help me as a teacher know who to call on. Thankfully I learned later through my missionary training that God would speak through us, but it was our responsibility to fill our souls with his truth so that when he picked us up to write his message we would be pens filled with ink. I was finding at last my internal spiritual compass.

I am so grateful for the shift the Church has made in teaching the youth. The approach they are taking is much like the way I learned to teach the gospel in the MTC and the way we were expected to teach in the professional Religious Education world. I have served teaching the youth with this new curriculum and have absolutely loved it. I have also had conversations with those who are overwhelmed and frustrated with trying to adapt to this new method. I know that it will take some time and some adjusting, but I can tell those that are teaching that this will be the greatest blessing to their lives when they learn to teach by involving the students in the process. Lessons sink home when they have the chance to learn the doctrine for themselves and teach it to the class. I have also learned is anyone can be a powerful teacher in the gospel if they know where the power comes from and how to access it for their classroom.  

I have tried to compile lessons I learned while being trained as a religious educator that really helped. Our training happened yearly with Apostles, weekly with our principles, and all the summer months from a variety of the best teachers that the program could offer. I share this because we were constantly encouraged to change and challenged to learn more and there is nothing that can give us greater power in our teaching than to repent, or change, and exercise greater faith in Christ. I know this list has the potential to be helpful. I did not mince words here because I feel very strongly about each of these helps. I could tell you many good and bad experiences that helped to make this a firm part of how I approached gospel teaching. There is not one of these that do not have scriptural foundation, as well as counsel from Prophets, Apostles, and promptings by the spirit. While I treasure the messages I have learned they have become so part of me that I feel them right from my heart. I do invite you to find out the truth of what I say for yourself. Study it out for yourself, practice it and I can assure you with all of my heart that you will teach with greater conviction and power and you will touch the hearts of those the Lord needs you to reach out too.

1.       Don’t stray from approved curriculum! Help your class to understand the doctrines you are assigned to teach that day by using the scriptures. They are the foundation of any class on Sunday. You should be in the scriptures throughout your entire class and take no more than a few minutes in a readiness activity (object lessons or stories etc. that introduce your topic). Never teach from unapproved sources. Religious Educators call that the kiss of death! The spirit will back you up when you obediently use the approved materials for your classes.

 

There are additional sources that are always appropriate to use when there are questions and you need more information to help your class better understand what you are trying to teach. Those sources are: the scriptures( not commentaries on the scriptures), General Conference addresses, True to the Faith, For the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, Daughters in my Kingdom, the Hymnal, Teaching no greater call, and approved manuals and materials for your courses, and the Church handbook of Instruction which is available online.) There is so much information in these approved sources that I pretty much guarantee that you will find everything that is your responsibility to answer questions and teach with clarity and power of the Spirit. Don’t do the work for your students when they need to seek for answers themselves. Help them know where to go. Help them not be frustrated and loose hope. Most importantly, follow the Spirit in what you say and the question you answer. Follow the spirit as to the questions you have your class answer and those questions which should remain answered through prayer and revelation given to that individual.

 

In order for the scriptures to profit us and help us learn, we must be able to take the topics and apply them to our lives. They were written to show us how to live and how to come unto Christ. You are not teaching a history lesson! It is unnecessary to focus on the history. Our focus should be how to help the class come closer to Christ that day. You are not expected to speak Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic, or be able to explain all the maps in the topical guide.  Inviting others to share how the principle and doctrines you are teaching has changed them and made them better will be the most edifying experience you can do for your class.

 

2.       Avoid speculative comments about doctrine and people! Don’t allow your class to take you down this road! Stick to the scriptures and words of living prophets! If they are not addressing it you shouldn’t either! Learn to politely lead the class back to the Savior every time they stray into topics of little spiritual value and importance. It is easier to pick up when you can recognize the spirit with your class. The spirit will not attend such comments and you will feel the difference as you seek to understand this yourself, then you can help others understand it as well.

3.       Live the Gospel! You must be a stellar example of the principles and doctrines of the gospel you teach. Living the gospel will help you to teach with a pure heart. There is no replacement that will be more powerful. Don’t worry about being perfect or not knowing a lot. You are only expected to do your best and the spirit will attend you and testify of the truthfulness of what you are saying. If you lack confidence in your obedience repent and ask for help. There is someone in your ward that is a stellar example of whatever principle you are trying to teach that would be happy to help you whenever you need them. When they stand with you the spirit that will enter your classroom will amaze you. When they are approved by your bishop, they will make a wonderful example for the class. If you are living the gospel it will be much easier to recognize the spirit in your lessons and pause to help others recognize when they are feeling the spirit as well.

4.       Keep it simple! The Savior himself said that if it does not teach faith and repentance it is not His doctrine. Everything we teach must help us and others want to repent and exercise greater faith in the Savior. If we are not leading others to partake of the gift of the Atonement we are wasting all of our time. Testifying of doctrines and principles frequently throughout the lesson rather than just at the end will increase the feeling of the spirit in your classroom. When in doubt stick to the basics 1. Godhead, 2. Plan of Salvation, 3. Atonement of Jesus Christ, 4. Dispensation, Apostasy, and Restoration, 5. Prophets and Revelation, 6. Priesthood and Priesthood Keys, 7. Ordinances and Covenants, 8. Marriage and Family, 9. Commandments. These basic doctrines can be taught weekly and they always bring an edifying feeling when you know they are true and you testify of them and invite others to testify of the same. We should always seek to build others faith in these principles and doctrines including building the faith in the Lord’s organization for his Church. We should never demean any program or leader in the Church.

 

5.       Remember it is about those you teach and not about you! We must magnify Christ in the methods we use to help others. Anything to call attention to ourselves is priest craft, which is setting us up for a light and example instead of the Savior. I believe that most people are innocent of this and if they do it at all they don’t understand what they are doing. But, whether they understand it or not this weakens the power of our teaching. Even when we don’t understand that we are sinning we are still breaking eternal law which will result in a decrease or eliminate to the power of the Spirit of our lessons. Everything the Savior taught when he was living among us in mortality was to lead us to the Father. He didn’t seek praise, recognition, or anything contrary to the Father’s will. He was and is the perfect teacher to emulate. When you don’t know what to do, He does …and He will still lead us. LDS.org has GREAT REFERENCES for TEACHERS! Use them because Christ has inspired them to help His children come home. The message is about bringing us all to our eternal home. He loves us and when we love those we teach, they can and will feel his love through us. If we love the Lord we will feed His sheep.

Thank you so much for taking time to read my blog. I feel so grateful for the kindness of those who have responded to me and supported my efforts. I really try to follow the Spirit in those things that I share and my only hope is to be helpful and do what my Father in Heaven needs me to do. May the Lord bless you.

Andrea

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Tender Christmas Eve /in Honor of My Husband's First Wife and Her Sons

An Answer to Elder Perry’s Great Question/Christmas Eve at the Roof

I have never been a person that is at a loss for words, and quite frankly neither is my husband. Yet, on Christmas Eve 2011 we were both at a loss to express what was in our hearts when Elder Perry, (A member of the Quorum of Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and who must have the same Christmas Eve tradition of eating at the Roof restaurant at Temple Square) posed the question, “How did you get these two here?” His wife must have sensed there was more to our little dinner than a happy holiday tradition and promptly put her elbow in his side, I assume to let him know he was prying. I had such a feeling of love in my heart and was so close to tears that not a word escaped my lips. My husband’s quick wit kicked in and he said, “Food.” It is good food and his answer helped to lessen the awkwardness of the moment, but I felt a twinge of regret in not being emotionally able to express my gratitude to those fine young men and my wonderful husband. Lucky for me they are a lot easier to run into during the day than Elder L. Tom Perry and I can make up for that moment with this post.

I can understand what a curious sight we must have been. It must have been a little puzzling for anyone who saw our family mournful on a Christmas Eve. We bore no resemblance at all to the typical family. My husband’s first wife was from Taiwan and had passed away earlier that year, and he had married me near the close of the year. Her 2 sons bear her resemblance.  Here we were, two very Caucasian parents with two handsome Amer-Asian young adult men.

The night was so still, quiet, and solemn.  Guy and I sought to make the evening about remember the boy’s mother. We dressed up in her honor and quietly all drove together to a wonderful dinner. Reflecting back on this I see things a little more clearly. I am so grateful for their reverent conduct and for their loving acceptance of me. I know it couldn’t have been easy for them to see their father remarry, let alone the same year their mother passed away. Yet they exhibited noble character. If they had any hard feelings they kept them in their heart and acted with great kindness. That to me is the definition of nobility. I am still in awe of how they treated me.

I too felt keenly of Cici’s loss and found it difficult to hold back tears because her death made it possible for me to join this wonderful family of noble men. She had been my friend and I mourned her death too, in saying this I do not pretend to know the depth of my Husband pain or Cici’s sons sorrow. I had known their mother for years and you can read all about how Guy and I’s story came about in: The Less Loved Wife? I wish now to concentrate on the miracle of my first Christmas in this wonderful family, and to better answer that question posed by an Apostle of the Lord.

So what would have I said to Elder Perry’s question, “How did you get these two here”?  I wish I could have said had my emotions and intelligence would have allowed, is this: These great young men lost their Mom this year, she had cancer. The older son quit his job to help with the family business during her illness, and the younger son was serving as a full-time missionary in Taiwan at the time of her diagnosis as well as passing. He just returned home. Tonight we are here to honor her Christmas tradition and memory. I am his, (pointing to my new husband) new wife and his first wife’s friend. I have waited years for the opportunity to be a part of an eternal family and this is way more than I ever anticipated. More in the sense of blessings, heartache, and a lot more required of me in assisting my grieving family than I feel confident doing. My sweet husband followed the Lord and married again when his heart was broken. The timing of his effort to win my affection came when I needed him most. These honorable young men have been nothing but kind and polite to me in their heartache and I love them so much for it. I cannot express in words my feelings of gratitude to my Heavenly Father and my Savior who have made this moment possible and for healing which can happen no matter the ache. I know God lives and these young men came here tonight of their own free will, no one could ask for a better Christmas in such difficult circumstances. So you see our hearts our full and we are all doing our best.

You may think that this answer may provoke a response from the questioner of regretting having asked such a question. Or maybe you think I am trying to teach him a lesson. I have no other intent in this response than to sincerely express what happen in that sweet and tender moment before the moment fades in my memory. I am also confident that sharing your heart sincerely with and Apostle when they ask such a great question is always acceptable. Apostles of the Lord often here tender stories of faith. They work among the children of men daily for the Lord and seek to do nothing but his will. While I know they readily admit to human error I have never known more Christ-like men. I wish I could have at the time shown my faith and trust in Elder Perry and the position he holds in actually answering his question. I suppose he will never hear the answer to his question personally, the timing may never be right again, but I am so thankful he asked it. The pondering of it has made all the difference this Christmas.

Years have passed and our family has been joined by another son and we are preparing to again go to the Roof restaurant on Christmas Eve. In preparing to go I can’t help but reflect back to that first tender Christmas Eve.  We have had more dinners and with each one the happiness increases. I know that no matter how difficult the holidays can be in our losses and sorrow there is hope and happiness ahead. While the holidays seem to be the time we feel more keenly the losses of our heart, I see them now as an opportunity to reflect more on that one great sacrifice of the Savior of the world for us. I know that these losses are only making room in our hearts for the Savior tender kindness to enter. I know that Christ is the miracle of Christmas. Allowing Him in and remembering all He has done for us makes Christmas the most wonderful time of the year.

Merry Christmas everyone,

Andrea

The Way You Change the World/ Learn to Follow the Lord and Complete Your Earthly Mission

This post is dedicated to my Mia maid class and especially Lacy Reese Sims for reminding me of an important part of the journey I took in coming to my career in Seminary and Institutes.

The Way You Change the World/Learn to Follow the Lord and Complete Your Earthly Mission

I believe that every person that comes to earth comes to earth with a specific mission to accomplish. I believe that these missions are as varied as the people who come to earth as well. I am not alone in this thought. This is a common teaching of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The belief specifically is that we lived before we came to earth and that we have come here having forgotten that part of our existence to be tested and proved faithful to God and our missions. I believe part of that mission for me was the time I spent in teaching the gospel as a full-time seminary teacher and I would like to share with you some of the important events that confirmed that belief to me. I share this in hopes that you will find comfort when your journey and mission takes you to places you never imagined and perhaps even overwhelms you. I know that God lives and through Christ’s Atonement we can gain all the strength to accept the responsibilities that come to us in this life and have the power to accomplish all we have promised our Father in Heaven we would do.

While I was young I was often afraid. I was afraid of the dark, making mistakes, being too far away from my home and family, and loads of other things. Fear was and always is the antithesis of faith and every spiritual experience I had happened when I chose to challenge my fears and inadequacies. One of the biggest steps I took was going on a mission and then furthering my education. Both of those experiences helped to strengthen my faith and encourage me. Part of exercising of our faith takes us living the life God wants for us. I knew that I was doing that when I was going to school, but I didn’t know what to do when I finished.

As mentioned in a previous post, A Road less traveled/ My experience in coming to teach LDS Seminary full-time. I felt I was guided by the Lord to go home. Little did I know the experiences that were waiting for me. I say waiting because I believe this was an important part of preparing for my mission, a divinely appointed opportunity. Upon returning home I was immediately called to serve with the young women in my home ward. I was a little nervous and hesitant. I felt bad about my teen years because I hadn’t always lived in a way I felt was right. I was such a fearful youth that it kept me from doing even good things that I knew would help others. However, I felt the call was inspired and I accepted it. It brought so much healing to my heart. It was like I was given a second chance to help those who were important to me and who had helped me so much as a youth.

Mia maids, for all of you who don’t know, are 14 and 15 year-old teenage girls. I remember that time in my life as probably the most awkward and hard, and that was the age group I was called to serve with. Seeing that age through the eyes of the leader was incredibly healing. All I wanted was to help them see what mattered most and to cheer them along. I loved serving with Sheri. She was awesome and was the presidency member that I served as a partner teacher with. She was a woman of faith and great integrity. After all, that age was hard enough! I had never anticipated what good friends I would find in these young women and how much I would come to love them. To this day I consider them my friends and equals. They are so wonderful. I learned that people are part of our mission here in this life. They matter to God and he wants all of his children to remember who they are and how valuable they are to Him. I was given a chance to assist in this effort and I am so glad I went home so I could be a part of some amazing young women’s lives.

We are in Constant Preparation to Return to God

At that time something bigger was happening, which contemplating now I can see quite clearly. I have found that we are in a constant state of preparation. Each stage in our life prepares us for the next stage. God is gently leading us to be prepared to live with him again even when it doesn’t feel gentle. He is a gentle and loving God. I felt I was sent home out of punishment for not living the way I should have when I was younger. I recognized later it was my own lack of confidence that Satan used against me to intimidate me. What God was actually giving me was time to heal and to see more clearly my life, the lives that I was affecting, as well as the impact that can potentially happen for the world as the world accepts his gospel. I realized that while I strived to be obedient, perfectionism was what I was living because I needed to include the Lord in every aspect of my life. Trying to become perfected without Him is perfectionism and a behavioral based life perspective.

I began to heal from my perfectionist perspective as I taught the gospel. Since I was training to teach seminary and teaching the young women at the same time, it was easy to see how the curriculum was different. The lessons that the young women were learning were good ways to live, while in seminary they were learning about the foundational doctrine or reasons for why they should live the way they were living. I didn’t even realize that these different approaches were confusing for some young women and their leaders until my first year as a full-time seminary teacher. There was a young woman in my seminary class that affected me greatly. Since she doesn’t even know this I will withhold her name just so that I do not divulge anything she would be uncomfortable with. She raised questions for me that took me years to get to the bottom of and felt like I could be helpful in some way. Her question, “Why are women not as valued as the young men?” This young woman was the president of her Laurel class, she was an accomplished student and she was so wonderful in seminary. I quite simply was bothered by her question and it never quite left me even though she graduated and moved on with her life.

I wondered, how can she feel that the Church teaches that? Where did this thinking come from and why? What could I do to help her and all the others who felt similarly? Years passed and I was growing in my gospel knowledge and experience in teaching the youth. I found that my heaven sent friend who helped me ponder more deeply about the education of the young women in the Church was not alone in her thinking. It was at this time that I was also part of a BYU Stake which chose to really emphasize the Atonement. Every lesson we taught, every service we did, and every talk given was to tie back to the Atonement. We were to see how the Atonement was both giving us our power and direction. I was a part of this Stake for 3 years and I served in various positions that allowed me access to my leaders on a regular basis. It was in one of these moments that I saw my Stake President (someone who is called to preside over several wards) and while he trained he said something that became the next piece of the puzzle I was working on concerning the young women of the Church. My Stake President told us that we are losing many of the young women of the Church. I thought, Oh no. He then said that statistically we have never lost so many. I asked him after the meeting and he explained more to me about the issue. I was left with a determination to help in that dilemma.

 

God’s Ways are Higher Than Ours

I had no idea what I was going to do but I did have a desire to help and I was praying and seeking the Lord’s help always in my daily life. I also felt that I was undergoing a change of heart that was requiring  a new level of faith. I was being stripped of all my doubts and fears about my personally worthiness and learning how Christ was my Redeemer and Savior. This was a critical change that needed to take place and I found that although I was changing things in my small area of influence, namely my classroom, it didn’t feel like enough. At this time I felt that it was the Lord’s direction that I would continue my education.

I had known for some time that there was a Master’s program that involved the training of seminary teachers. This was a closed group and no other applicant would be admitted to the program. I felt that I wanted to make a difference and I knew I could if I had this particular education. I felt like I wanted to get as much education as possible, as I had been counseled by my patriarchal blessing.  No one had to tell me to go like when I obtained my undergraduate degree. My bishop had actually been the Lord’s instrument that got me on the path, but now I felt more of a solid footing in my faith and I could choose to go. When I prayed about the decision it felt right. I was in a serious relationship that wasn’t going anywhere for a while so I also felt comfortable that I wouldn’t be putting my dating life on the back burner by doing so.

It was quite a process to apply. I needed all the faith and strength I could get from the Lord’s Atonement to press through barriers that I never did well with… TESTS! I had been advised by the ACT board that perhaps college was not for me after scoring a very low score. Now the tests were harder and the stakes were larger. I had to take a GRE test and write essays and I felt the Lord help me through the whole process. I also was encouraged by the scriptures that ensured that if I would bring a weakness to the Lord he would make it a strength. Well, I was really getting in over my head because reading and writing were always a difficult part of my schooling and now I was applying for a degree that was reading and writing intensive. Luckily I had a lot of desire and drive to do something of value and that and the Lord carried me through the difficult times.

When the applications were in, I waited for a response but nothing came. A co-worker who had also applied got his acceptance letter into the program and could see my disappointment when I told him that I hadn’t heard back. He was disturbed enough by my sorrow that he called the Area Director who had recommended me for the program to find out what had happened. The Area Director called BYU since he had recommended me and was told that I had been accepted, but the letter must have been misdirected. I was so excited when my Area director called to let me know. My colleague, who I would spend the next 3 years of my life trying to keep up with, was also excited for me. To this day I am grateful for the priesthood holding men who handled my concerns with such tenderness and helped me when I was too distraught to do things myself.

I was interviewed by those who had admitted me into the program and I was told that I was the 2^nd woman to be admitted to this program. I felt keenly a responsibility to do whatever I could to further assist my sisters in the Church and world with whatever I was learning. The courses were so hard!! The work was demanding. I cried every day. I worked so hard and prayed even harder. I was diligent and dutiful doing everything that was asked of me. I literally had no other life than working and school. I literally worked twelve hour days only reserving Sunday as a time which I refrained from doing my work and I served in a calling then teaching the 5 year-old in primary. I tried to attend a few ward and family functions, but my life was now owned by BYU. I even quit EFY for the time I was getting my Master’s because I had literally no other time to devote to Church service. I remember reading more books in a week than I had my whole life. I wrote a lot and while my concepts were liked all my professors could see that my writing needed a lot of help. I am sure they even questioned how I got into the program. I even felt that some were bent on breaking me, and that was just the first semester.

I hadn’t been in the program long when I was trying to figure out what I would write my thesis on. I was a work driven, not brilliant, individual so I knew I would need to develop a good thesis.  I hadn’t put two and two together that I could do something for the young women. Thankfully, I had a professor that would later become my Area Director who believed that the young women’s curriculum could use some help and perhaps my research could benefit them. Wow, that was it! I could feel something. I started right away researching information, and I used every class to write a chapter of my thesis using different areas that each class focused on. All of the Professors started to rally around me and were SO HELPFUL in bringing about this great work. I started by doing a doctrinal analysis of the curriculum used by the young women program of the Church. It didn’t take long to see that it was not a doctrinally based curriculum. I also came to understand why my young friend who questioned her worth could have developed this thought. The lessons didn’t teach that, but the implications from a lack of doctrinal training for women in their vital roles didn’t help the misunderstanding.

Every normal method of researching was showing that I would need to go to the beginning of the Young Women’s curriculum to find out more about its’ history. At the time, the General Young Women’s Presidency were working on writing new curriculum and were not really interested in my research, but they were also not opposed to my efforts to research and write. One year would pass and the Church’s efforts to get a new curriculum to pass failed. There was also a change in the General Relief Society Presidency itself. It became necessary for me to work more directly with them. I was already accustomed to doing things a different way, and so I wasn’t too ruffled when some professors were worried that the research would not be welcomed. I found that there was a little bit of mistrust that needed to be overcome, but when the young women department looked at my thesis committee, who was Robert Millet, Brent Top, and Camille Fronk Olsen, a former General Board member their interest in my project became more substantial.

It was no small miracle that some of the busiest people at BYU, and who were also well known to the Church, had agreed to be on my thesis Committee. I even chose Robert Millet to led the charge. My Classmates thought I was crazy because they would be such academic excellence required of me. They thought I should pick someone that would be easier on me. I had learned long ago that it was the hard teachers that taught the most and I was not satisfied with less. Brother Millet was perfect for the assignment; I couldn’t even say I chose him. I felt the spirit direct me to him because he was motivated by his experiences as a Religious Educator and as a Leadership Roles in the Church that something needed to change in how the young women were being taught. He also felt that the young women of the Church needed to be more doctrinally prepared for their role in the world. I felt so blessed to have their backing. This made it much easier to get help. I also had some connections with the Church Curriculum Department; two of my former colleagues were now a part of that. Interviews with them also helped me get the direction I needed for my thesis. I knew these individuals were not in their position by accident, but rather by God’s grand design and my knowing them was part of His plan. The work of God is never frustrated. He sets up perfectly the outcome He desires, we only need the faith to trust it, and trust His timing.

It Takes People Inspired by God and Working for the Same Goal to Bring About Change and Miracles

Though I wasn’t very graceful about it, I got the 4 branches of the Church’s departments to work together. I had leaders from Seminary and Institutes backing me, I had the Church Curriculum Department helping, I had the best minds BYU had to offer helping, and I had the General Young Women department offering feedback and help. My thesis became the first known time that all of these departments were used together on the same goal. At least that is what I was told by my leaders in my employment. I knew them all and their noble intentions to help the young women, but they did not know each other. My work helped to open those doors. One day Ann Dibb, 2^nd Counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency, called me at work. Her question was that the seminary program had always seemed like their own organization that functioned independently of the “other church departments.” She didn’t know if it was possible to ask them for help. I told her confidently, since I knew of their honest intent, “Sister Dibb you can have whatever you ask for.” She thanked me and we ended our conversation. I was thinking to myself after, “Sister Dibb just called me?” I also had a great deal of opposition to deal with. Later, great changes came as the wall of CES came down and it was no longer viewed as a separate entity. They were unified with every other department. I could feel of the importance of the work and the hand of the Lord guiding me in this effort. Satan was also constantly fighting my efforts.

It seemed like every facet of my life was under attack. I was audited by the IRS twice, lost months of work from computer issues (I actually went through 4 hard drives during my thesis. I saw this as much more than back luck.) I broke up with my fiancé, had the home I was living in sold out from under us, and not to mention, troubles with friends and family. If there was a weak spot, it was hit. I was also having more trouble with my health. I was diagnosed with early stages of skin cancer, had my foot operated on, saw an acupuncturist every week for the stress and chronic illness I was battling. Then when things were improving, I was bit by a hobo spider 6 times on my ankle and had my education put in jeopardy. My short term memory was affected as well as my stamina. I had to learn new study methods which would take information I was learning and store it directly into long-term memory. I cut more of my extracurricular activities out. The one that hurt the most was HumorU, the stand-up comedy club that I had helped to set up at BYU. There were no other options. I had to concentrate all the available energy I had in completing my thesis. I felt God guide me through it all and give me whatever help I needed to succeed, including wonderful editors.

I was finding information that I hoped would be helpful, although I didn’t get as much encouragement from it in an earthly setting, I did get a lot of encouragement in a heavenly way. I had experiences with heaven and most are too scared to relate in this setting, but I will tell you this: The Lord was leading this work and I was given all the help I needed through priesthood blessings from my brother and cousin, and from an unlikely source my students were incredible. I was starting to recognize that I would break under the weight of opposition that I was feeling. I was climbing the ever so long staircase that led to my class feeling very weighed down. I was feeling sorrow for the loss of my dreams, then all of a sudden to my mind came these words, “Dare to do right, dare to be true. You have a work that no other can do.” This line from a simple primary song, Dare to do Right, became my anthem.

 Still I had to work under these conditions. I felt driven by the spirit to press forward at all hazards. No one but God knew exactly what I was going through. The weight of my daily responsibilities began to injure my health and I was being advised by competent medical professionals to abandon my cause or lose my health. Almost every day I was required to teach my seminary students and my primary class on Sunday. I felt inspired to share my burdens with some and it began to help. I told the Executive Secretary, (a man that makes appointments for the Bishop) that I didn’t think I would be able to accept the calling they were considering for me because of what I was doing in my thesis work. When the Bishopric learned of my struggle they checked up on me weekly to see if I needed anything. They were keenly aware that I had no priesthood holder in my home so they made sure I had access to any priesthood support that was needed. This added support and love made me feel so much better.

I also felt inspired to share with my seminary students my struggles and how I needed their patience, prayers and understanding. They did even better, they prayed for me and doors that were closed opened. WOW I NEEDED THEIR FAITH! Some of the young ladies in my class came to me and told me of their struggle with the Sunday lessons in young women’s and their hope that my project would be helpful brought them great peace. This was incredibly motivating to me. My primary class, with their pure and tender hearts, was rejuvenating to spend time with. I was able to get my thesis completed and I felt that feeling again that people matter, they are part of the mission. Including others in our struggle is an opportunity for them and for us to come closer to God. What a tender mercy of the Lord’s Atonement. The Lord does strengthen us through the kindness and faith of others. While it would have been much easier for me to get a little time off of work to work on my thesis, my Father in Heaven knew that it was in the His service that I would get all the strength I needed.

I presented my thesis to my committee and it passed with some minor revisions that needed to be made.  I handed my work over to the Young Women Department. Sister Cook had told me at one time that I had come into the kingdom for such a time as this. At this time she also said that while she didn’t know how I would be a part of the creation of new curriculum she assured me that I would be a part of it. I presented my thesis to a world-wide broadcast of CES teachers in a research forum, and bought a house.

You are Never Finished With Your “Mission” When You Finish A Project

My work with young women didn’t end there. I thought it ironic that the same position that I was being considered for in my previous ward was the first calling I had in my new ward. This emphasized for me that there was a time and season for everything. Next, and not a year later, I was called to serve as the Young Women President in this ward. I literally had a crisis of faith knowing that I would be asked to teach from the very manuals that I had come to know were insufficient for the needs of the young women. Lucky for me, I found an out in the counsel given in the curriculum: I could have material approved by my priesthood leaders to meet the needs of my class. I didn’t want to throw out the manual, in fact I used it for activities that we had during the week. I explained my concerns with my Bishop and he was quick to get the revelation that some of the less spiritual lessons were appropriate to move to a weekday activity and I was free to submit lessons that I would like to replace them. I worked an entire weekend on developing lessons on Faith, Repentance, and the Atonement as well as a few other gospel doctrines that would be submitted. He approved the lessons and now it was up to the teachers to pray and get their direction. It took some persuasion because it was not the normal way of dealing with things. Those who were working with the young women were incredible and I believe those young women were given the best the leaders had in faith, testimony, and teaching.

I was married when I served as the young women’s President and soon the ward would split.  I was now part of a new ward and away from the young women that I again saw as my friends. I then moved to South Jordan as was given a calling to help better prepare the youth that were leaving for college and missions. I was part of the first group of Sunday school teachers to teach the new curriculum that had been developed as I served in the Young Women Presidency. The New “Come Follow Me” curriculum made me cry tears of joy. It seemed to be exactly what I had imagined a perfect curriculum to be and even better! The updatable format using the technology of the computer hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was so excited and overcome that I emailed Sister Cook with my congratulations and thanks. She responded with joy and excitement and thanked me for my help. She readily recognized the contribution of so many others and the Lord.

I was so humbled to know that I had actually been helpful. During our Graduation Ceremony held in our college a year after I had graduated I felt confirmed to my heart that I had completed an assignment that I was sent on earth to do. I felt so thankful that the Lord helped through all the difficulty and that everything had transpired according to his grand design. I was just glad I could do my part. God really does use the weak and simple to do his work.

When I was called to serve in the Relief Society Presidency, I saw a visitor to the ward that I wanted to talk to. I had seen her a few times and recognized her as a sister to one of our ward members. I had also learned that she taught seminary. She was actually a Seminary Principal. I was able to talk to her in the hall for a minute and I told her that I had taught seminary too. We had fun chatting about our common service when she thought I looked really familiar. We had served in different areas so we knew we hadn’t seen each other in meetings. I then thought of everything I could in which we could have crossed paths. I told him that I had presented my thesis at a forum and her eyes began to light up. I told her the name of my thesis a, Doctrinal and Historical analysis of the Young Women Education in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”. She said, “You are my Hero!” I share this only because I was completely surprised by it. She then explained that my work had become pivotal in the change of curriculum for “Come Follow Me.” I had known that my thesis was used to train the newly called Board members in the General Young Women’s Program, and that it was looked at by curriculum writers because Sister Cook told me of the training. My old roommate’s mother had been a writer on the committee and said that she had worked with my thesis. I had never known the significance, nor had time to think about it. I am grateful for our meeting, not because it is a great meeting to stroke my ego, but because it was a confirming witness that I had accomplished that work and that it helped. I knew that my work, as well as so many others helped the Lord in His work. I know that when we follow the spirit miracles happen, even if we not always entirely aware of the outcome. Following the spirit is our opportunity to work in the grace of the Lord, to live in the power of the Atonement; there is literally no better feeling.

I am thankful for a chance to record these feelings and events as my life has taken such a turn and I care full-time for my toddler and seek to help my family in whatever way I can. I want my children to know that they can do hard things, and that if they follow the Spirit’s direction they will be able to accomplish what they came to earth to do. I know that only God knows each of our missions and what we are to accomplish. I know that coming to know Him and feel Him directing our lives is the greatest experience of mortality. He has led me to wonderful people and friends who I will cherish forever. Thank you Lacy! Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful and sacred time of working in the Young Women’s group. I wanted you to know how important that was to me. It was the foundation for a work I didn’t even know I would do. Thank you to all my young women that I love and know I consider you dear friends forever.

 

 

 

 

A Road Less Traveled/ My Experience in Coming to Teach LDS Seminary Full-Time.

Choosing a Carreer

 

 

From my earliest recollection, all I wanted was to be a wife and mother. College came and went, as well as a faithful mission… yet still I found myself alone at the age of 27. I had tried to make marriage and family a priority. I even remember wanting to train to be a seminary teacher while attending BYU, but when prayerfully considering what I should do, I felt that I needed to follow my heart -- which was to stay on the morning shift at the MTC and to not go into the training that would have conflicted at the same time.

When I graduated from Brigham Young University contemplated entering law school. I prayed to know if this was the right decision for me. I asked the Lord to take the desire from my heart if it was wrong. Well that prayer was answered quite abruptly. My current relationship with a young man ended, I lost my employment for the summer due to the recession in the economy and on top of that I found that I had a serious illness. It was important to have a surgery to decrease the pain, but the recovery process was more than I had anticipated. Due to my weakened condition the complications took months to overcome. Matters were made worse by the recession in the economy which made it difficult for me to find full-time employment.

I took a job answering phones in a telemarketing job while I looked for work. I made enough money to pay for expenses and I felt blessed. Still I felt empty and struggled to get ahead, working as much as I could and then resting. I felt strongly at work one day that I needed to help more people with the employment I was seeking. That answer left me with more questions. What does that mean? Help people how? I started looking around and found a job with my Bishop who had a company that focused on speaking to large corporations about the family. I thought, “This has to be it”. Something still didn’t feel right. I sought the Lord in prayer and received a priesthood blessing. The answer did not come immediately in the priesthood blessing as I had hoped, but the answer came as I was in apartment pondering upon my dilemma.

As I wondered what course of action to take, I felt warmth enter and all the darkness and confusion leave me. I was illuminated by the Holy Ghost. I felt the words “You need to go home.” “HOME?” I thought.  I knew it was the right choice, but the decision wrenched my heart. There was nothing for me there. My single life was well established in Provo, but literally penniless I had no other option than to obey. Living with my parents at age 27 I felt like I had failed in some way, but they knew it was temporary. Bills from my surgery started to pour in. Still not having employment, I began to sell my belongings to pay for my medical expenses.  I prayed to the Lord one night and told him of my challenges and the need I had for money to support myself. I do remember saying that I had always been a full-tithe payer and I would continue to be if he would just help me find a job. By turning to the Lord in my hour of need I was again comforted by an answer, I felt a voice communicate to my soul that I would have all I needed. I knew in the near future my desires would be met, I just didn’t know how.

I sought for employment while trying to recover. I continually prayed to do what the Lord desired and to be delivered from my current condition. I needed repairs done on my car and I had just had to turn down a job at JC Penny that would have led to a manager position because I would not work on Sunday. I had also been turned down for a position in which I was the 2^nd choice. They told me that they worried for my safety and so the job was given to someone more equipped for the danger of working with adult males with disabilities.

 

I was directed by the Spirit of the Lord to train teach Seminary

 It was in these distressing circumstances that my Aunt Tonya came by. She told me I should get involved in the Seminary program.  With that suggestion I felt warmth and love. Again the Lord had communicated in such a way that I understood that this was the answer.  I called the director of training for the seminary program at ISU, and he told me that BYUI would shortly start classes. It would be the first year for the program. Teaching the gospel had always been such a fulfilling experience. Prior to this I had taught missionaries at the MTC for over two years. Teaching at the MTC developed in me a passion for teaching the gospel.  It was amazing to feel the hand of the Lord guide me to the seminary training program in Idaho.

 

There were all kinds of things needed in the beginning. I was a graduate of BYU, so I was allowed to take the training courses as part of the Institute program. This was a huge blessing and would save me hundreds of dollars. It’s awful and a bit funny that I didn’t have enough money to pay the fee of $8.00 plus the price of my books. Upon learning of the problem, my Grandma Matthews offered to pay the fee and buy my books so I could begin. Oh I am so thankful for the help of my Aunt and Grandmother, and for my parents willingness to support me for a short time.

The next angel that made such an impact in my ability to teach the youth was my trainer Robert Walquist. Because the program was just beginning at BYUI, he allowed me to take both classes that were necessary to become an instructor at the same time. I didn’t realize what a privilege I was getting. In all other established training centers you have to pass the first class in order to be admitted to the 2^nd. He literally saved me an entire semester worth of time.  After passing my two classes I was allowed to start the student teaching portion of my training. I was assigned to my own High School. There they were all my old seminary teachers. I was grateful to be with those that I knew, and I didn’t know what a battle was a head of me.

 

Overcoming stereotypes against female teachers in the Seminary Program

Women seminary teachers were a rarity in Idaho. In fact, other than a few substitute teachers there had never been a full-time female teacher to ever work in Rexburg. I later learned that no woman had ever been hired to teach full-time seminary in Idaho. It didn’t take long before I started to see the prejudices coming out in the students, who are just a product of their environment. Some students continued to be my opponents and even told my instructors that I shouldn’t be allowed to teach the gospel since I was not a priesthood holder. I will always remember the kind response of my trainer Brother Walquist, “Now Andrea we know this is not right, but you need to know what you are up against.”

The ugly truth of it all was even some adults and in the community were unsupportive of me training to become a full-time teacher. For those of you that do not know, I think it would be helpful to tell of the policy that existed at the time I was trained until just recently. The policy for women teaching seminary is that they were available to higher if they met the qualification for teaching and did not have dependent children at home. I was a single returned missionary which helped my eligibility. While I was qualified for hire, it would not be without a fight.

The training was incredible. I was learning all kind of techniques that would keep the students interested in the lessons and I was having a good time teaching. I was very obedient and stuck to both the style they required as well as the curriculum. I learned early that if parents were going to call and complain about me it was easily handled if I had just used church materials to teach from. Little did I know how much this one decision to keep to the curriculum would bless my career and life. Still the observations were meticulous and demanding. I was told more than once that my lesson was bad. I just worked harder and prayed with all the energy of my soul to do better and show them I was what they wanted to hire.

I impressed my immediate trainers enough to get another round of student teaching as well as observations from Salt Lake. I guess I didn’t impress the first one that came to visit, and my trainer felt like again I was not being given fair treatment. He demanded, as I learned from another teacher that was outside his office while he was on the phone, that I would be given another chance. I can’t believe how blessed I was that my trainer believed in me and fought for me. They then sent the head of the HR Department to look at me. He interviewed me after the lesson and said that he thought that I was genuine, to which I responded, “Well I would hope so.” I think my trainer would have rather I not said that, but I was unskilled and young and I was recommended to receive a General Authority interview.

Am I worthy?

I remember the day well, just not the date. I met with Mel Hammond, who at the time was serving as the General Young Men’s President. Lucky for me, he had come to town for meetings and I was able to meet with him in the Stake Center next to the Idaho Falls Temple.  I was a little nervous, but he was very kind to me. This was similar to a worthiness interview that we receive at an important event such as baptism, temple endowment, or for a missions, but it was different too. I was also interviewed as to my desires to teach as well as my goals for an eternal marriage. I was asked to share my disappointments and what had happened in my desires for marriage. This was to ensure that I was truly not married because it was not the Lord’s time for me, and not due to unrighteous desires that I clung to. I admit there were tears and heartache that were opened for inspection. He was very kind to me and He asked me to write to him and let him know how things turned out for me.

Just as a side note: I not only got to write that letter to let him know that I had been hired, but I had the opportunity see him many years later when I was a temple worker in the Provo Temple. On my way to a meeting in the chapel, I waited for him to stop his conversation and then I approached him and briefly explained who I was. He said, “I remember you. And you are still not married?” I had become accustomed to the question and I knew it was not offensive, but rather a shock that I had not been snatched up! I had also taught his grand-daughter which was fun to talk about too.

After the General Authority interview, the last step is to have your name and qualifications, including letters from your Bishop and Stake President, presented to the Church Board of Education. Of course the Prophet is the head of this board and there were many qualified applicants my year, but there were only 25 positions that needed to be filled. I was asked to meet with my trainers so that I could learn the outcome of long process to which I had undergone. I remember being asked, “what will you do if this doesn’t work out.” I told them I had a dream that I worked at my Dad’s gas station.” They both laughed pretty hard and then said, “Well you don’t need to worry about that, you are hired.”

The Area Director of that area in Idaho shook my hand and congratulated me. He told me that I needed to overcome a lot of inertia in order to be hired. To tell you the truth I was glad I was oblivious to so much of that, and grateful that the will of the Lord was to teach his children a little longer. I was hired that spring to teach full-time seminary in American Fork Utah.  Though the opposition was great, I new it was God’s will, and his purposes are not frustrated. In April 2003 I was told that I would begin employment in June.

Accomplishing all I needed to do while I was there.

I left Idaho with gratitude for the seminary teaching position.  My desires for motherhood, though strong, were mercifully met as I taught the gospel and loved my students. The Lord filled me with his love, yet I am not the only one who may partake of it. I did not spend my time wondering why I was to remain single; I simply chose to follow that spirit that filled me. I knew that my position would be temporary and that as soon as I married and had a child my position would end. I was just fine with that.

My first year was a major transition, but not as hard as my student teaching days. I did want to quit after having some bad experiences with students, but a priesthood blessing from my father told me that I was training future leaders of the Church and that if I put all my heart into this work God would make it up to me. I then determined to teach with all my heart like every year was my last. I my fears faded and my confidence grew as I taught the principles of the Gospel.

The Lord also strengthened me physically. It was while teaching in my first assignment I came the association with a substitute teacher who connected me to a doctor that treated my illness. Several months later I showed no signs of the disease. Hope returned to my heart and again filled my soul with the confidence and assurance that the Lord will fill my “hunger” and “thirst” for righteous desires.

It has been more than twelve years since I joined the Church Educational System; I had no idea the blessings and experiences that being a seminary teacher would bring into my life. The greatest blessing of my career is the wonderful people with whom I associate. I was able to get into the Master’s of Religious Education Program at BYU, who had previously to my application only accepted one other female applicant. I completed my thesis on the Historical and Doctrinal analysis of the Young Women’s Curriculum from the beginning of the Church until today. I also was also hired by the BYU’s Continuing Education Department for EFY and Education Week. Both those experiences were miraculous and worth sharing at another time.

I know that through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ I know we can achieve all the goals and desires that are necessary for us to complete our missions on the earth. I believe that all people who are born have a work to accomplish while they are here. Though my full-time employment has ended for now, I am glad that I had the Lord with me during that wonderful preparatory time and that he is still with me. I know that God will fulfill his word (D&C 82:10).  If we lose a blessing eternally it will be due to the choices we have made. We are bound by sacred promises to do the work of the Master.  We are invited to take his yoke upon us (Mathew 11:29), and by so doing we will accomplish all we have promised to do.  Regardless of where we serve, in the home, community, and the world, His promise is that as we lose ourselves in the service of God, we will find what we came to find – the Kingdom of God.  He will not keep us from difficulties and challenges in this life, but with him we need not fear those challenges. I know that all that we suffer will be made up to us, and as we lose ourselves in the work of the Master, he truly satisfies our hunger and our thirst.